He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
