At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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