we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
