I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
