The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
