I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
