Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
