Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
honey bunches of taint.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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