I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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