My liver just broke up with me...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
