is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
