I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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