it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
