see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize