If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
