roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
