He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
