So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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