I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
