So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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