Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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