a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
