My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
