how can u be prego again
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
