I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
