cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize