So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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