i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
