and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize