No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize