i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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