we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
