so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
