Do vagina's smell?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
