YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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