no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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