Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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