shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
