Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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