Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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