Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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