Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
