I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
