I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
