They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
