You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize