I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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