yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
