margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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