Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
