I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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