I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
