Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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