I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
