dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
