I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
